Change is the Realest Real

Philippians 4:8 -  Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things.

I’m one of those people that hates change. I honestly didn’t know how much change truly affected me until I got older and began really examining myself. People know that I can be dramatic when it comes to telling stories however, I don’t like drama when it comes to life in general. I like things to be simple. Schedule it, set it, do it, ignore rude people, and do the best you can in life. Go ahead, you can laugh. Life is rarely like this, am I right or am I right? I know I’m right because I had to learn that the hard way. Growing up, I thought life was a fairytale or that it could be that way, at least. If you were a nice person, treated animals like they were your best friend, and followed everything that God required of you the best you could, life would be like those Disney movies we grow up watching. The squirrels and birds would follow you wherever you went, prince charming would sweep you off your feet, and you would live happily ever after. HAHAHAHAHA! Hardly. The older you get, the more you understand why many elderly people are bitter or just want people to leave them alone. Life is heavy and change happens on a daily basis to where we have to adapt and learn to handle junk as it comes along. People aren’t as easy to handle as you thought they were when you were five and as we age, reality gets harsher and harsher. All of this is always summed up in one phrase, “That’s life.” Really, it’s that simple. Life isn’t a fairytale and change is going to happen and we have no choice but to find a way through whether we like it or not.

My twin sister is moving to Alaska in three weeks. Tomorrow we go on a one-day trip to celebrate our birthday that just occurred a few days ago. The family threw us a surprise party and it’s been one of the best birthdays we’ve had in a while. Despite all of the wonderful memories we’ve made on this birthday, I’m not ready to lose her; I feel like I just got her back. I’m going to throw out that cliché, “Cherish the people you love while you have them,” bit. We all know it’s true but none of us take it seriously until it’s too late. So, that trip I mentioned…I’ve been dreading it. Don’t get me wrong, I’m elated to go on a trip with my twin but it feels like once the trip is over, the finality will set in at 100%. Change has this way of turning me into a sleepless zombie that could cry at the drop of a hat over nothing. I’m terrible at misplacing emotion and it’s like my brain dances all around the problem and refuses to address it. However, knowing myself, even if I think I’m handling it, I’m not. When my actions start to become tense and sporadic, I know that I need to slow down and address the fact that there’s something bothering me that I’m suppressing. That realization hit me this morning after another night of no sleep and a day that feels wasted/failed. After yet another small outburst of impatience at something trivial, I knew I needed to sift through my brain fog and pinpoint my fear. It was easy to find. It was easy to start letting the tears flow from the pain, fear, acceptance….the reality that I couldn’t do anything to change it. If you know me at all, I’m a fixer. If I see a problem, I find a way to tackle it and fix it. Starting from a very young age, I’ve never been good at handling things I can’t do anything to change. The only way I know how to handle anything is by doing something to change it. I grew up being told, “If you don’t like something, do something about it,” I was taught to not just sit there and wallow in pity or defeat but to rise above it; face my fears, face the challenges, and defeat them. Sometimes, though, you have to let the hard things happen. You can’t act, you just have to watch it and in those moments I feel so defeated.

I’m a person who has crazy thought sifting moments. You know, where you start at one negative thought or false notion and make it through all the steps to reach the positive ending that’s the correct one. This usually happens in seconds and it’s probably pretty funny to watch as it occurs on my face. I know all the right things I should be doing or saying but actually acting them out is not so fluid. The one thing I have learned to handle are my raging thoughts (unless I need to sleep and then my brain refuses to go away). So, as I’m realizing all this junk that’s affecting my mood and sleeping patterns, the negative aspect of all of it is, of course, the first thing that comes to my mind. I begin my thought sifting moment and eventually make it around to this conclusion…she’s not dying. Yes, Alaska is days away but I will see my sister again and with technology at our fingertips, she will always be a phone call or text away.

No, life isn’t a fairytale in that it’s always perfect. However, what we always forget is that fairytales aren’t flawless; the attitude of the hero or heroine is what makes it feel that way. Snow White had some rough stuff happen to her. I mean, for goodness sakes, she was living in a tiny hut with seven strange little dudes with her death being planned. Her positivity is what carried her through to the happy ending. She experienced life as we did (maybe worse than some of us) but the movie as a whole feels so unreal because of the positivity and strength she carries herself with. My point….life isn’t always sunshine, bubbles, and birds chirping our praise. Life can be dark but that doesn’t mean it can’t be a fairytale. My sister moving hurts; it’s the dark part. However, instead of turning into a tyrant due to my fear of the major change I’m facing, I need to tap into that strength and positivity Christ has equipped me with. I need to recognize and accept that it hurts, there’s nothing wrong with that, but I also need to do something with that emotion. I had been allowing that emotion to show in negative ways. However, just because we feel emotion that’s sad doesn’t mean we should allow it to manifest in negative ways. Use that emotion in a positive way. MAKE your dark moment a fairytale moment by choosing something that most likely goes against what your mind is trying to tell you to do. My mind was telling me to be grumpy and to avoid the issue which clearly was only resulting in a worse day. No, instead of feeling like a failure, I’m going to choose strength and positivity and I’m going to one up little miss Snow White. I’m going to talk to my animals and pretend they understand me (that doesn’t sound psycho at all) and I’m going to smile this day through. I’m going to jump for joy when my sister says “I do,” and I’m going to enjoy every second of this mini trip. I’m going to come home to my prince charming once it’s all over and guess what….I’m going to live happily ever after and so will you. God promised it so know it, accept it, and choose the fairytale life!

Isaiah 40:29-31 - He gives strength to the weary and increases the power of the weak. Even youths grow tired and weary, and young men stumble and fall; but those who hope in the LORD will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint.

Correcting Everyone and Their Mother

2 Timothy 1:7 - For the Spirit God gave us does not make us timid, but gives us power, love and self-discipline.

Have you ever just wanted to give up on the world because you are just flabbergasted by all you see? Yep, that was me the other day. I about turned around and gave a parent a lecture on how to raise their children because it was clear to EVERYONE in the store that they weren’t doing a very good job. In my head I had that whole head bob, Z-snap thing going on and I was ready to pounce. However, God tapped at my heart and asked me, “What good would that do, Shannon?” Boy, was I knocked down a few pegs. You see, sometimes it’s not our job to tell somebody what’s what because half the time, that just tears them down and definitely does not bring them closer to God. Look at Facebook, all of us are so willing to jump the gun and post something controversial just so we can correct those who see it differently than we do when really, correction isn’t needed, love is. A good debate can be fun and helping a friend out when they’re headed down the wrong path is wonderful. However, arguing just for the sake of trying to be superior is kind of annoying and nobody will listen at that point. Don’t you dare lie and don’t think you don’t do the same thing we all do. We type a million miles an hour, get a SUPER good comment in and then we’re all proud of ourselves. “Did you see what they said? Yeah, look what I said back.” I’m laughing right now because I’ve definitely done this with my husband. I was so proud of how I responded and the singer I got in, I couldn’t wait for him to read it. Sadly, there’s no witnessing when all we’re trying to get in is a few good zingers in on someone. We’re focusing on hurting them or hurting their pride whether than helping them in love and through scripture. Today, I urge you to step back away from your own pride and forget all the knowledge you think you need to impart to those who don’t see things the same way you do and just love and encourage them!

Proverbs 16:32 - Better a patient person than a warrior, one with self-control than one who takes a city.