April Fool's Day and Empathy: There's Two Sides to a Coin

1 Corinthians 10:24 - Try to do what is good for others, not just what is good for yourselves.

Y’all, does God ever show you something and you’re just like, “God, why in the world would you make me do this?? You know full well my attitude ain’t gonna allow me to do that crap!” Well, in my journey this past year through learning empathy, I’ve hit these moments quite a few times. I talk to God out loud and I’m sure I sound a bit crazy but, I just have to in order to keep my sanity throughout the day. Some of these conversations go a little something like the above question and statement. Then it’s followed up with something like, “Alright, God, I gotchu, I know, I know, I know. You’re asking me to do it because I suck at it and really don’t want to.” In these moments, I definitely feel a bit like Jonah with my whining and totally get his outlook some days. When you’re done dealing with dang nasty attitudes for the day and you’re just like, “That’s it, God…burn it to the ground.” The last thing you want to do in that moment is slow down and have empathy for those people. However………you know full well what I’m getting ready to say, right? Yep, that’s when it’s needed most.

Anyways, this journey towards truly understanding empathy has been a somewhat confusing one. I have found there’s always two sides to a coin. Duh, right? Ha! It’s not that simple, though. My latest lesson in empathy has to do with April Fool’s Day. Who knew such a basic holiday could be so littered with controversy? Our current society is great at making every simple aspect of life full of drama. Can I just go hide in a cave? Sigh….I need Chik-fil-A and Krispy Kreme donuts too much for that. Moving on. There have been a few April Fool’s memes going around listing this SUPER DE DUPER long list of things that shouldn’t be joked about on April Fool’s Day. Now, a couple of things are a given and others are just personal preferences. However, my first response was, “REALLY?! It’s a day about joking, and you’re seriously going to try and kill any joy brought on by a day all about fun by complaining?!?! Good grief, give it a rest, people!” Now, before you scold me, keep reading. In general, it’s impossible to not crack a joke without it offending someone, somewhere, at some point in time. However, if we are doing anything NEAR what Jesus would do, we would do our best to avoid topics we know our close friends or family would find hurtful.

However, here’s the other side of the coin that God showed me. When practicing empathy, we’re putting ourselves in other people’s shoes and putting ourselves aside. So, one side of the coin, of course, try to be careful and not offend friends and family. However, don’t be so uptight and selfish that you expect people to mourn and feel awful with you about something you experienced. When someone makes a random joke they’re not specifically thinking, “Oh man, that’s going to hurt them soooooo bad, I hope they’re crying about it.” Come on, not even close. REJOICE that they are able to joke about something and not understand the pain of it. Instead of wishing that bitter, hurtful, uncomfortable feeling on them, use it as a time to rejoice that they aren’t being held captive by it.

Not many people know my struggle. However, the few that do, I would never expect them to not joke about it. In fact, I joke about it myself. If I see a joke pop up on social media on April Fool’s Day that involves my struggle, I’m most likely going to crack up. I’m definitely not going to crucify the person who posted it. Why? Because it’s just a darn JOKE! If we allow our circumstances to only be a negative burden on ourselves and others, how can we expect God to use it? I’ve used my struggle this past year to let God teach me empathy in more ways than I could ever imagine. It has been very uncomfortable more times than not but, man, I am SO thankful for the growth because it’s expanded my outlook on people and how Jesus views them.

So, this April Fool’s Day, practice empathy in every aspect. That means, be sensitive to what others might be going through when you joke BUT, also be aware that people aren’t going to be joking to spite you…they’re just having fun. Lighten up, learn to laugh at circumstances instead of being so bogged down by them that you project your hurt and bitterness onto others. REJOICE that they never had to feel that pain OR that they’re free enough from it that they can be light-hearted about it.

Philippians 2:4 - Be humble, thinking of others as better than yourselves. Don’t look out only for your own interests, but take an interest in others, too.

Being Weak as a Warrior

But he said to me, "My grace is sufficient for you, for My power is made perfect in weakness." Therefore, I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ's power may rest on me. That is why, for Christ's sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong. - 2 Corinthians 12:9-10

Grief is something that we feel is more commonly limited to death or loss. Grief goes infinitely deeper than we understand. Life is hard, there’s no kidding around about that. Everyone knows it and everyone is, daily, fighting to swim through the waves of emotion, stress, desire, etc. Life hurts and you’re not alone feeling that way.

We all know that we can’t let life get us down. However, there are some days where the “umph” is nowhere to be found. The people you rely on for strength are unavailable, your usual “pick me ups” are failing miserably, and you don’t have one ounce of energy left to be brave. When you’re in these types of moments, it’s a lot easier said than done to not let the hopelessness creep in and take over. You just want the pain to disappear, to relent; you just want to stop feeling for a moment to have relief.

No one wants to feel weak and these moments parade themselves as the epitome of weakness. If you are used to the position as warrior, fighter, defender, these moments can feel even more overwhelming because the feeling of failure sneaks in and taunts you into feeling worthless.

If this is you or you’ve been in a moment just like this, read closely. Stop being a trash compactor. You can’t live life constantly packing and smashing stuff down and pretend like it’s all well and good. Trash can be condensed but it still has to go somewhere. Eventually, you will have to come to terms with everything you’ve set aside. You are still a strong person, you are not weak for needing a moment of release and refueling. Life is a constant barrage that requires you to constantly be on your toes. Don’t be caught in the crossfire because you were too afraid to have a moment where you couldn’t handle it all. Don’t be afraid to be weak for when we are weak, HE is strong. Allow those moments where you’re all alone and feeling hopeless—don’t fight them. Use them to be an overcomer. Let those tears flow, let your weary soul cry out to God, let all the emotions flow over and through you. Feeling something other than strength, happiness, and success isn’t the end of the world and it’s not a bad thing.

This is where grief comes in. Grieve the fight you handle on a daily basis, because it’s much more than just handling rude people. As a warrior, you are fighting constant spiritual battles which can be more exhausting than a few crabby people in a day. The definition of grief is, “Deep sorrow.” The synonyms of grief are pain, distress, anguish, sadness, misery, heartache, torment, etc. Life is a beast. When you’re in the line of fire every day, you can’t escape the overwhelming moments of distress and anguish. However, it’s how you use these emotions and moments that determines the outcome. Are you just going to let them defeat you and that’s that? No, if you’re a true warrior, you use those moments to grieve and rid yourself of the compacted trash you’ve pushed aside for later. You can then be free of the baggage and extra weight dragging you down, so you can move on and keep fighting. If you truly want to be strong, you have to stay refreshed, revitalized, and redeemed. Don’t let pride be your downfall—if you need release, don’t wait until it turns into something grotesque. Give your soul the cleansing it needs so you can rise, every day, a conqueror and warrior of Christ.

"Put on the full armor of God, so that you can take your stand against the devil's schemes. For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms. Therefore, put on the full armor of God, so that when the day of evil comes, you may be able to stand your ground, and after you have done everything, to stand.  Stand firm then, with the belt of truth buckled around your waist, with the breastplate of righteousness in place, and with your feet fitted with the readiness that comes from the gospel of peace. In addition to all this, take up the shield of faith, with which you can extinguish all the flaming arrows of the evil one. Take the helmet of salvation and the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God." – Eph. 6:11-17

Powdered Donuts and Netflix

Hebrews 12:1-2 - Therefore, since we are surrounded by so great a cloud of witnesses, let us also lay aside every weight, and sin which clings so closely, and let us run with endurance the race that is set before us, ² looking to Jesus, the Founder and Perfecter of our faith, who for the joy that was set before Him endured the cross, despising the shame, and is seated at the right hand of the throne of God.

Do you ever have those days where you just don’t feel motivated? Like, give me a friggin’ bag of powdered donuts and close that door because I’m saying peace out today—it can wait until tomorrow. What about those days you wake up and glare at your alarm and think to yourself, “I’m feeling bold, today….I’m going to quit life and become a professional cat lady, muumuu and all; no shame!” I highly doubt I’m alone in this and I feel like those feelings of being a professional furball lover grow stronger and stronger as our society continues to progress. It’s stressful out there, y’all! However, I think the only thing more embarrassing than admitting I’ve thought about eating an entire bag of donuts is admitting that I’ve let satan win too many of those battles.

In our moments of weakness, we can’t give up and become a professional hermit. We were created for one reason and that’s to worship God and lead those around us to the cross. Don’t make me break out the church lines on y’all, I’ll get that head bob rollin’ and might not be able to stop it! In all seriousness though, when we give up on our day, we give up on potential opportunities to witness, we give up on being an example to others, we give up on the power of Jesus and his sacrifice, we give up being a part of something huge, and that huge thing is God’s plan for our every day. Don’t get me wrong, even the disciples needed a day here and there to shut out everyone around them to recoup. That’s part of being human but we can’t let that be every day. When you feel like devouring an unhealthy amount of donuts instead of facing the world but you get up and push through with a smile on your face instead, you’ve grown just a little more. You’re now stronger than you were the day before. It’s like losing weight, you might not see a huge change every day or even notice it, but a ways down the road you’re going to look back and be like daaaaaaaaannnnnnnnnnnngggggggggg, Daniel, look at yo bad self!

Matthew 5:16 - In the same way, let your light shine before others, so that they may see your good works and give glory to your Father who is in heaven.

When we let the weight of the world steal our drive to push through this life and when we give up, that’s when we’ve let satan win the battle. He’s over there high-fiving his team, dumping Gatorade on his own head, livin’ it up while we’re over here moping, stuffing donuts in our mouth, watching reruns on Netflix like real losers. Hey, I can’t say that’s not the perfect picture of me a couple of nights a week (minus the moping) but the difference is, I wasn’t using that to avoid the entire meaning of my existence. I already went out and faced the day and my reward is a dang donut and the tube. When it turns us into losers is when we’re doing that instead of living the day God so graciously allowed us to be blessed with.

It’s hard, especially when it’s one thing after another. However, keep flexing that spiritual muscle and you’ll only be stronger for it. It might be hard now but one day, you will realize it’s not as hard as it used to be. Get up, turn off that alarm, put on that smile, and thank the sweet Lord Jesus for the new day because there’s work to be done.

Ephesians 2:10 - For we are God’s handiwork, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do.